Horror Art Online: Ben Drowned
by ultraatari
Summary: An obvious interaction with a creepy pasta in the most annoying of level types: Water dungeons.


Kirito, Asuna, and Sinon sign on. Kirito is trying to convince Asuna to go on a mission with him that guarantees rare sword drops which would benefit both of them but she refuses.

"Kirito that's a water level. We both know water levels always suck and are terribly annoying. More annoying than Sinon!"

"I'm right here..."

"That's nice. Anyway, there is no way I'm dying a hundred times and losing all my gold just so you can look cooler and have better DPS. Besides I hear the water level is creepy as fuck. Some kid named Ben was playing than a week later drowned at the beach."

"That's a coincidence Asuna. He literally died by something well outside the games control."

"Yeah keep telling yourself that. With all the weird shit we've seen and you're just going to take those chances..."

"I am. Because I'm the God damn black swordsman. A watchful protector, a dark knight."

Sinon whispers "more like white knight..."

"What did you say Sinon? I wasn't listening."

"Nothing. EHHHH I'll go with you Kirito!"

"HMMMMM unsure how much help a ranged weapon specialist is gonna be in WATER but I guess it's better than nothing."

"I still have Knuckles!" "Do you know dae wae?"

"That's...that's just spectacular..."

They end up going to the water temple level and enter a seemingly empty dungeon. Kirito must press one of three levers to open the door but doesn't know which to pull.

"Sinon what do you think we should do?"

"I think we should...Knuckles NO!"

Knuckles pulls one randomly while making klocking noises.

Suddenly a the floor begins to rise with water but only to their feet. in all the splashing a water elemental forms.

"Shit! Sinon..."

"I'm on it."

Sinon jumps back shooting at it but the bullets go right through it, Kirito is slicing and dicing it but proving equally unproductive. Kirito mutters

"Magic is OP as fuck in this game. Everything else is useless. What is this DD?"

The water elemental slams them against the wall causing immense damage and just when they think they're gonna die backed into a corner, another player seemingly signs on. Starts dashing about doing spins with his sword making young link sound HIYAH and while it's proving useless as well, it does distract the elemental.

"Sinon... Press another lever. Let's get outta here while this guy is keeping it busy."

Sinon nods and pulls another level. The water begins to rise again and the water elemental screeches as it merges with the rising tide and dies by extension of assimilating to the giant body of water.

"Well that solves one problem..."

"Kirito, the water isn't stopping this time. Its already to my stomach."

"I spit on the non-beli'ber water! Patootie!"

Knuckles spit turns the water into a poisonous chemical condition. Thus slowly their HP is dropping while they find themselves swimming and having to hold their breath. Kirito looks at Sinon aggravated as she looks away and goes to swim to the other end of the level to press the last lever but that toon Link guy is already there and presses the other lever. The doors open and the water surges outward so they are no longer immersed and the poison damage stops.

"Hey, thanks man... You really know this game. Your name is UHHH...Ben?"

The toon link looks up and it's face changes to a creepy realistic expression of that link statue from Majora's Mask.

"You know what? I'm not racist...I'll friend a spooky ghost."

"That's not how racism works Kirito!"

Kirito and Sinon walk forward down the corridor and Kirito is out of breath. Just walking seems straining and he says to hold on a moment as he breathes hard.

"Why is my weight incumbent so high? All I have equipped is..."

"It's exhaustion Kirito. You took the brunt of that water elemental. And if we encounter another monster you'll die and have done all this for nothing."

Sinon looks away really contemplating if she wants to do what she's thinking about doing..."

"Here drink this."

It's a pink sparkly potion.

"That looks rare."

"Yeah I got a friend gift. It will replenish your HP no problem."

"Nice... you know Sinon. Maybe we're too hard on you. You're a weirdo don't get me wrong. But you're kind and always there for us."

Kirito drinks the potion and whipes his mouth. Sinon is expecting some dramatic result but instead Kirito just says thanks and says let's keep moving.

As they do Sinon wonders if it was all a lie. Maybe the potion didn't work like it was supposed too.

They find a giant chest and as they open it there are several rare sword drops and Kirito is ecstatic.

"Oh look! Most of them have elemental damage! THAT WOULD HAVE COME IN HANDY FIVE MINUTES AGO"

As he's observing them deciding which of them he wants to keep and contemplating which to give to Asuna he looks down at Knuckles holding up one of the swords he missed klocking.

"What's this? The nightmare blade?"

He reads off its its stats as casting horrific illusions upon any creature struck with an int score above 8.

"That actually sounds pretty amazing. Thanks Knuckles. I was gonna suggest Sinon step on your head but maybe you're not so bad after all..."

"You really mean it Kirito?!"

"No. That thing is fucking annoying. But you did help me on this adventure. Also before I forget Ben do you want...one?"

He looks behind him and there is no Ben. At least not a moving one. Just the same creepy majora mask statue but this one is mantled to a wall.

Kirito goes back to his loot muttering "whatever..." and all badass double sheathes the two swords he picked on his back. Not even looking behind him he says to Sinon

"Thanks again Sinon. You know it means a lot to me you play this game with me. It lets us bond, get to know each other better, and it let's me unwind. Not have to think about all the shit on the outside world y'know?"

"Yeah...I know..."

"Imma go find my crap wife and give her these swords. I'd offer you one but I don't think you have even one point in blade skill."

"It's ok...really..."

"Nono. You came down here when you didn't have too. You put in the work. It's not fair or right. So umm...here."

Kirito offers her his gold accumulated.

"Maybe you'll get lucky and find something you like on the open market at the hookah lounge. It's the least I can do."

"It's ok Kirito really. It's just a game."

"Alright..." Kirito looks up and down Sinon thinking "damn she THICC. Wait what am I thinking?! Sinon is an idiot! I mean she's way nicer that Asuna... nonono! Snap out of it Kirito! You and Asuna have been through so much together. This is nothing. Sinon's just growing up. Ofcourse I'm gonna find her attractive as she develops." Kirito waves and quickly signs out.

Sinon falls to her knees tearing up wondering to what extent she's fucked things up for everyone. Maybe the potion didn't even work and the developer was just testing to see her breaking point. She starts crying telling herself she's not a bad person. That anyone would want what Kirito and Asuna have. All she wants is to be treated better and appreciated.

Ugandan Knuckles puts his little hand on her shoulder and asks her "do you know dae wae?"

She sniffles and wipes her noise laughing a little bit. "Do you know dae wae?"

"Yeah Knuckles I know the way."

"But do you know dae wae..."

His eyebrows crunch

"OF THE DE'BIL?"

Suddenly Joy-C's bit from Kid Rock's devil without a cause starts playing in the background as Sinon looks at the diabolical expression on Ugandan Knuckles face.


End file.
